Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Enjoy the penises
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
