I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
