I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
