If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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