Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.

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(541): View more from Oregon

so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested

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(985): View more from Louisiana

for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now

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(512): View more from Texas

My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.

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(802): View more from Vermont

he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.

(1-802): View more from Vermont

it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.

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(915): View more from Texas

at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?

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(217): View more from Illinois

He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

You passed out again didn't you?

(828): View more from North Carolina

its likely that this occurred.

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