party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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