Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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