I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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