This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she pinky promised me she was 18
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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