his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
