Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
