ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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