you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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