i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
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