Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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