I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
