And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
