I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
