and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You need a sexual gate keeper
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
