i think my mom watched the whole time
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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