Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
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