Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
