i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
