I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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