so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
