I hate all girls vehemently.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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