I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize