I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
