I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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