trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
