I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
