I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
