There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
