We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
