I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize