So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
