either way he was missing a nipple.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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