My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
