I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
