i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize