Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
