god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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