You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize