I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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