so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
