Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
