Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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