Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
