Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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