Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
