So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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