remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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