We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
