I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
