So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
