you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
