Plan B is the new Plan A
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
