respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
