redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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