I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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